Help Overcome Self Doubt


It is surprising just how many people do doubt their ability to perform the simplest of tasks, it can be for a number of reasons that people have this problem Let down by others in the past, failed at exams or in a job. Doubt that you can have a steady relationship.

An example of this is me, not known to be shy where the fair sex is concerned, I was dumped by a girl that I very much loved, in fact we were going to get married, met another girl on the rebound, got married, she ran off with someone that I worked with after just five months. It not only led me to doubt my ability to have a steady and lasting relationship, but led me to go through a period being very unsure around ladies, hating rejection to almost to the point of stupidity.

It made me so very low that I very nearly had a breakdown, I did in fact get so close that I finished up spending a few days in the Sick Bay to calm me down, it also stopped me drinking as much as I was. Which is why I like to help overcome self-doubt in people’s minds, having been there I do understand what you could be going through, should you have self-doubt.

Increase Your Self Belief with Positive Exclamations

Studies have shown that making positive exclamations or affirmations as they are sometimes called, can help people to not only feel better with a more positive attitude, but also helps to make them have more self belief. Some people think that it is silly to repeat things to yourself, but if it helps to increase your self belief, what is silly about that?

Try these seven affirmations, when you feel low, just repeat them to your self a number of times.

  1. I am very good at…. (what are you really good at)
  2. Say to yourself I am a good person
  3. I can be good at…. (name something that you would like to be good at, it can be more than one thing)
  4. I am very focused on the things that matter in my life
  5. I look and feel really good today
  6. What do others see in me?
  7. I believe in my ability to believe more in myself

If you wish too, you can write all these out on a separate piece of paper, put them in a safe place, when you are feeling low, take them out in any order and repeat what it says on that piece of paper.

Delete Negative Thoughts

Negative thoughts can cause all sorts of problems, so get rid of them, turn them into positive ones instead. Having good self-esteem, whilst letting go of self-doubt, turning your negative thoughts into positive ones is a step in the right direction, you can begin to believe in yourself.

Some ideas to help you deal with negative thoughts:

  1. Do not repeat a negative thought either silently or out loud.
  2. Get some fresh air, go for a walk, a run or even a swim, but get the wind in your hair, and if it is out the sun on your face.
  3. As daft as it sounds smile, a smile on your face will lift up your spirits.
  4. Have you a friend who is positive? if so give them a ring, send them a text, talk to them let them help lift your spirits.
  5. Re-work the problem, do not say I will hate doing this, say this will be just great.
  6. Get away from you. Do something different play with the kids, visit a neighbour, make yourself feel better by doing something different.
  7. Turn up the volume, is there a piece of music that you really like? put it on as loud as you can, without disturbing the neighbours, and just enjoy the sound. Sing to it, dance to it, but enjoy it.
  8. Nobody is perfect and that is a fact, so why should you be any different.
  9. Where you a victim, if so let go, the past is the past, leave it there.
  10. Your positive affirmations, repeat them.

Every time that you have a negative thought, get rid of it by doing something suggested in the list above, it is surprising how it can help.

Reduce the Stress While You Cope with The Worry

We all worry at sometime in our lives for a variety of reasons, this is natural. These reasons can include the following:

  • Birth of a child
  • Getting married
  • A new job
  • Son/Daughter first day at school
  • Interview for a new job or promotion
  • Exam results

This list as you will realise is by no means exhaustive, just an indication of the times that it is quite natural and normal to worry.

In general most humans in the main are lazy, we do like the easy way out of any situation, that is just natural, but some people tend to worry far too much, are you a worrier, do you stay awake at night worrying about any manner of things, if so these worries can and often does lead to stress, which can lead to other problems, on occasions these can be quite serious.

If this is you try the following:

  • Whatever is worrying you, write it down, then make an action plan to deal with it.
  • Take action, if something is really bothering you, if possible take action to try to deal with it.
  • Limit the time to worry, whatever the problem give it a time limit, allow the worry to last for so long, then move onto something else.
  • Shut down the computer if you begin to worry about events that are happening in the world, you can do nothing about it so be concerned, but not worried.
  • Live for the moment, whatever you are doing then do it, do not be distracted by anything that might be bothering you, focus totally on the present.
  • Learn to accept the event. If you are worrying about something that has happened, then don’t, you can do nothing about it, so worrying will just lead to giving yourself stress that is not needed.
  • Get Active, do not sit and worry go for a long walk, get your blood pumping through your body.
  • Try praying or meditation, this can help some people as they learn to become calm and relaxed, appreciate that this is not for everyone. Though I do sit in a chair in the garden on a nice day and meditate.

The above ideas are proven to help, but if you do not over worry, then just carry on doing what you do normally.

Banish the Toxic People in Your Life

It does not matter if the person that you consider to be toxic is a member of the family or just a friend, close or otherwise, get them out of your way, your life if you can, they will do you no good whatsoever.


  • People who are toxic never change, it is in their nature.
  • Setting and keeping boundaries, just be strong about how much contact that you have with them.
  • Do not let them involve you in their problems.
  • Understand and accept the problems that you have.
  • They refuse to leave you alone, be firm, if need be you may have to obtain a restraining order to keep them away.
  • Accept that they can wield power over you, which they may have used in the past. If need be, certainly if it is a relative love them from afar.
  • Make the decision, when you decide that things have gone too far, then you decide when to pull the plug on any contact.
  • Find better relationships, getting rid of toxic contacts can be very draining, replace them with people who are better suited to you, and not toxic.

Getting rid of toxic contacts is never easy, but for your own piece of mind that is exactly what you must do.


In concluding this article on overcoming self-doubt, one final suggestion is to keep a journal and write in it any doubts or fears that you may have and how you are dealing with them, or have dealt with them.

You may have negative thoughts which need recording, how you dealt with them or banished them will help should they reappear. But recording your self doubts can only help as you battle to overcome them.

We do so hope that you have been able to gain something from this article on overcoming self-doubt, do realise that this could easily be the subject of a reasonable size book, so all that I have been able to do is merely scratch the surface.

If you have any comments, please leave them in the box below, as always your feedback is very much appreciated, as is your time in making those comments.

The next article will be “Learn to think positively”

Be Happy, Healthy and Wealthy,

Stuart (aka Edwin)

8 thoughts on “Help Overcome Self Doubt”

  1.  I really like your approach about dealing with negativity. It is all in the mind. I think when you let other people get under your skin so to speak, you give them power over you that they really shouldn’t have. I like the fact that you deal with self talk. Self talk is probably one of the most important things that we can do to lift our spirits to look ahead and to map out our future. 

    The actual plan that you laid out there toward the end of the article is wonderful. It’s all about taking action and just taking action can have a very positive impact on one’s psychological temperament. I think you touched right nerve in a lot of people in this article. It will go far in helping people. 

    It was inspiring to me to read because I know I’m not the only one that has or suffers from self doubt. Others do as well and this is going to be very helpful to them. Thank you for putting all this down where we can read it.  And also thank you very much for painting a very positive outlook if those of us who have the courage to deal with self-doubt do so.

    1. Many thanks for your very kind comments, it does make writing such an article so worth while, having to look into yourself while writing is difficult sometimes in case you pitch it wrong, comments such as yours make it worth the effort.


  2. Hello Stuart, I must say that this article helped me a lot to discover something new. Self-doubt is very common today and I think that our social life is the main culprit for that. We always think about how to satisfy people around us which result in self-doubt. I will definitely take seriously your tips and I hope it will greatly improve my life.

    1. Hi Daniel, 

      Thank you for commenting, so pleased that you enjoyed it and have found it to be useful.


  3. Selenity Jade

    Excellent article! It’s definitely a fact that negative thoughts are very toxic on your life. My mother, who to be fair suffers from depression, is very negative, all the time. Even having a decent day, the glass is always half-empty and she’s miserable. But she also doesn’t get that she has to recognize that negativity is toxic and try to overcome it. In her mind, some magic medication is supposed to make her happy. Which is not how it works. 

    I’ve gone the opposite way and always look on the positive side if I can. I’m much happier than she is in general and more at peace, even though I suffer from anxiety (excessive worrying too). But I recognize it’s my anxiety making me stress and purposely distract myself. 

    So you are definitely spot-on about positivity promoting better self-image and happiness. No one can be happy if you’re always negative!

    Thanks for the article!

    1. Thanks Jade for your comments, it is always difficult when you have  a negative person around you, but pleased that you thought that I was on the right track, also that you have a positive outlook on life.


  4. Great article. I identified with this article quiet strongly. I tend to be a worrier sometimes and so there were some great tips in there to help combat excessive worry. I will try some of those tips like keeping a journal which is not one I had thought of before. Thanks for writing such an informative post! Keep up the great work and I look forward to reading more from your site!

    1. Hi Jackie, many thanks for the lovely comments, journals do help, when I get myself organised will be making some that I have  available.  Pleased to be of hep.


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