It is surprising just how many people do doubt their ability to perform the simplest of tasks, it can be for a number of reasons that people have this problem Let down by others in the past, failed at exams or in a job. Doubt that you can have a steady relationship.
An example of this is me, not known to be shy where the fair sex is concerned, I was dumped by a girl that I very much loved, in fact we were going to get married, met another girl on the rebound, got married, she ran off with someone that I worked with after just five months. It not only led me to doubt my ability to have a steady and lasting relationship, but led me to go through a period being very unsure around ladies, hating rejection to almost to the point of stupidity.
It made me so very low that I very nearly had a breakdown, I did in fact get so close that I finished up spending a few days in the Sick Bay to calm me down, it also stopped me drinking as much as I was. Which is why I like to help overcome self-doubt in people’s minds, having been there I do understand what you could be going through, should you have self-doubt.
Increase Your Self Belief with Positive Exclamations
Studies have shown that making positive exclamations or affirmations as they are sometimes called, can help people to not only feel better with a more positive attitude, but also helps to make them have more self belief. Some people think that it is silly to repeat things to yourself, but if it helps to increase your self belief, what is silly about that?
Try these seven affirmations, when you feel low, just repeat them to your self a number of times.
- I am very good at…. (what are you really good at)
- Say to yourself I am a good person
- I can be good at…. (name something that you would like to be good at, it can be more than one thing)
- I am very focused on the things that matter in my life
- I look and feel really good today
- What do others see in me?
- I believe in my ability to believe more in myself
If you wish too, you can write all these out on a separate piece of paper, put them in a safe place, when you are feeling low, take them out in any order and repeat what it says on that piece of paper.
Delete Negative Thoughts
Negative thoughts can cause all sorts of problems, so get rid of them, turn them into positive ones instead. Having good self-esteem, whilst letting go of self-doubt, turning your negative thoughts into positive ones is a step in the right direction, you can begin to believe in yourself.
Some ideas to help you deal with negative thoughts:
- Do not repeat a negative thought either silently or out loud.
- Get some fresh air, go for a walk, a run or even a swim, but get the wind in your hair, and if it is out the sun on your face.
- As daft as it sounds smile, a smile on your face will lift up your spirits.
- Have you a friend who is positive? if so give them a ring, send them a text, talk to them let them help lift your spirits.
- Re-work the problem, do not say I will hate doing this, say this will be just great.
- Get away from you. Do something different play with the kids, visit a neighbour, make yourself feel better by doing something different.
- Turn up the volume, is there a piece of music that you really like? put it on as loud as you can, without disturbing the neighbours, and just enjoy the sound. Sing to it, dance to it, but enjoy it.
- Nobody is perfect and that is a fact, so why should you be any different.
- Where you a victim, if so let go, the past is the past, leave it there.
- Your positive affirmations, repeat them.
Every time that you have a negative thought, get rid of it by doing something suggested in the list above, it is surprising how it can help.
Reduce the Stress While You Cope with The Worry
We all worry at sometime in our lives for a variety of reasons, this is natural. These reasons can include the following:
- Birth of a child
- Getting married
- A new job
- Son/Daughter first day at school
- Interview for a new job or promotion
- Exam results
This list as you will realise is by no means exhaustive, just an indication of the times that it is quite natural and normal to worry.
In general most humans in the main are lazy, we do like the easy way out of any situation, that is just natural, but some people tend to worry far too much, are you a worrier, do you stay awake at night worrying about any manner of things, if so these worries can and often does lead to stress, which can lead to other problems, on occasions these can be quite serious.
If this is you try the following:
- Whatever is worrying you, write it down, then make an action plan to deal with it.
- Take action, if something is really bothering you, if possible take action to try to deal with it.
- Limit the time to worry, whatever the problem give it a time limit, allow the worry to last for so long, then move onto something else.
- Shut down the computer if you begin to worry about events that are happening in the world, you can do nothing about it so be concerned, but not worried.
- Live for the moment, whatever you are doing then do it, do not be distracted by anything that might be bothering you, focus totally on the present.
- Learn to accept the event. If you are worrying about something that has happened, then don’t, you can do nothing about it, so worrying will just lead to giving yourself stress that is not needed.
- Get Active, do not sit and worry go for a long walk, get your blood pumping through your body.
- Try praying or meditation, this can help some people as they learn to become calm and relaxed, appreciate that this is not for everyone. Though I do sit in a chair in the garden on a nice day and meditate.
The above ideas are proven to help, but if you do not over worry, then just carry on doing what you do normally.
Banish the Toxic People in Your Life
It does not matter if the person that you consider to be toxic is a member of the family or just a friend, close or otherwise, get them out of your way, your life if you can, they will do you no good whatsoever.
- People who are toxic never change, it is in their nature.
- Setting and keeping boundaries, just be strong about how much contact that you have with them.
- Do not let them involve you in their problems.
- Understand and accept the problems that you have.
- They refuse to leave you alone, be firm, if need be you may have to obtain a restraining order to keep them away.
- Accept that they can wield power over you, which they may have used in the past. If need be, certainly if it is a relative love them from afar.
- Make the decision, when you decide that things have gone too far, then you decide when to pull the plug on any contact.
- Find better relationships, getting rid of toxic contacts can be very draining, replace them with people who are better suited to you, and not toxic.
Getting rid of toxic contacts is never easy, but for your own piece of mind that is exactly what you must do.
In concluding this article on overcoming self-doubt, one final suggestion is to keep a journal and write in it any doubts or fears that you may have and how you are dealing with them, or have dealt with them.
You may have negative thoughts which need recording, how you dealt with them or banished them will help should they reappear. But recording your self doubts can only help as you battle to overcome them.
We do so hope that you have been able to gain something from this article on overcoming self-doubt, do realise that this could easily be the subject of a reasonable size book, so all that I have been able to do is merely scratch the surface.
If you have any comments, please leave them in the box below, as always your feedback is very much appreciated, as is your time in making those comments.
The next article will be “Learn to think positively”
Be Happy, Healthy and Wealthy,
Stuart (aka Edwin)